Letters from 
an Alcholic

I am an alcoholic. I need your help.

Don't lecture, blame or scold m​e. You wouldn't be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too.

Don't pour out my liquor; it's just a waste because I can always find ways of getting more.

Don't let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad opinion abut myself. I hate myself enough already.

Don't let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent. My sense of guilt will be increased, and you will feel resentful.

Don't accept my promises. I'll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them at the time.

Don't make empty threats. Once you have made a decision, stick to it.

Don't believe everything I tell you; it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I'm likely to lose respect for those I can fool too easily.

Don't let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice.

Don't cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drinking. Don't lie for me, pay my bills, or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you provide an automatic escape for the consequences of my drinking.

Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me. Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members. They're the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.

I love you.
Your Alcoholic
*******************************

I am an alcoholic. I need help. 
Don’t allow me to lie to you and accept it for the truth, for in so doing, you encourage me to lie. The truth may be painful but get at it. 

Don’t let me outsmart you. This only teaches me to avoid responsibility and to lose respect for you at the same time. 

Don’t let me exploit you or take advantage of you. In so doing, you become an accomplice to my evasion of responsibility. Don’t lecture me, moralize, scold, praise, blame, or argue when I’m drunk or sober. And don’t pour out my liquor; you may feel better, but the situational will be worse. 

Don’t accept my promises. This is just my method of postponing pain. And don’t keep switching agreements. If an agreement is made, stick to it. 

Don’t lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me. 

Don’t allow your anxiety for us to compel you to do what I must do for myself. Don’t cover up or abort the consequences of my drinking. It reduces the crisis but perpetuates the illness. 

Above all, don’t run away from reality as I do. Alcoholism, my illness, gets worse as my drinking continues. Start now to learn, to understand, and to plan for my recovery. I need help from a doctor, a counselor or a psychologist, a recovered alcoholic, from God. I cannot help myself. 

I hate myself, but I love you. To do nothing is the worse choice you can make for us. 

Please help me,
 Your Alcoholic