Alcoholics Anonymous


This is an example of a typcial Sponsee, Sponor engagement. 

 How to Ask an AA Member to Sponsor you,  
My advice to you is to attend a number of meetings and just watch the members sharing. Focus on those who seem to be living good lives and are content in themselves, they speak of how they have recovered, Typically towards the end of the meeting, you will see people raise thier hand and volunteer to be a sponsor.

 If they have what you want ? 
Chances are that they will make a good sponsor.  A good sponsor might have similiar life experiences, family situations, or back rounds. However some of the best sponsors might have little in common with you. This might provide a unique perspective,  Follow your instincts.

 Always go for someone whose recovery inspires you.

 Engaging a sponsor is an Invest in your success, working the 12 steps is a great opportunity for a new life.

You will have to commit time, a sincere desire to recover, and willingness to change, this process takes effort.

 It can seem like the hardest  thing in the world to ask an AA member to be your sponsor.  

Here is an option.   Walk over to somebody of interest after the meeting, or on break.

Hello my name is  _____  that was a great share,   (or)    I see you here often, what meetings do you attend ?  This can be a great ice breaker, no commitments yet, and typcially they will ask you a few questions, like,  are you new to the group?  How is it going?  I appreciate you being here today. or maybe after some conversation,  You Ask are you looking for a sponsee?   They might ask you if you need a sponsor?  Start the conversation, to see where it leads you.

Another great way to kick start a sponsorship engagement.  
Get to know people you sit near at meetings, typcially they can help with introductions, again, this helps break the ice.

 Did I pick the wrong sponsor? 
 If after a bit of time you feel that you made the wrong choice then by all means find someone else. It's your life and it's your sobriety. Don't compromise it because you don't want to hurt our feelings. On the flip side, switching out sponsors will likely cause frustration on your side. Many will request you re-start at the beginning. 

If your Sponsor is not responding, or moving you through the steps, it might be good to change up.  If however they have supplied you with some requests, like calling regularly, finishing assigments on time, and going to meetings as you have scheduled. Don't be suprised if they interact with you less. Bottom line, they have other people to help inside and outside of AA. 

 Can I fire my sponsor?  
Some people say  " I fired my sponor"  You can't fire a sponsor because they are volunteers,  you can not fire somebody you do not employ.  Be respectful, and say its not a fit,  it won't hurt our feelings.  if we are not a fit , thats ok.  We want you to find the right person to help you through the recovery process,

 What if they say no?
This is 
a common barrier to asking somebody. So what if they say no, it's no reflection on you. There could be many reasons  as to why they are not available.  Just look for somebody else, or ask for a referal.   

Support could also come from individuals other than your sponsor. If you couldn’t find a sponsor, the next ideal thing is to reach out to another A.A. member that you could get support from.

What a Sponsor is not ?   
Somebody who will  fix your problems for you. They can guide you to possible solutions, but ultimately, you must be willing to commit to recovery, meet your challenges, make changes in your behavior, and work  to solve these issues. 

Sponsors are not Gurus, We don't have all the answers, we are just people,  who have worked,  and are working a 12 step program, and believe  we can offer some 12 Step direction to others.  We walked in the door just like you, and now can share experience on how to progress through the 12 steps.  

A sponsor is somebody who has working knowlege of the 12 steps.

Big Book Dr's Opinion:  We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all   and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.  

AA Official Sponsor Q&A

 Why am I not progessing, and Staying Sober ?
This is the big question lots of people have. Typically you are not willing to stop drinking, or, think it will be different next time, or you just need to do this until the heat is off. People who are unwilling to invest the time to work the steps, to work towards honesty, to make the commitment, to follow direction, and to attend meetings regularly. Sobierty comes to everybody who works for it. It might take time, and it will happen. I have seen it thousands of times over the past few decades. People who will not commit & accept they are powerless over alcohol/drugs, and they loop in and out, over and over. They sober up, life gets good for a while, they relapse, life gets worse very quickly, they sober up, life gets ok - its is declining but we say " its not that bad" , Then they relapse, life it worser, going down, and down, and down, until.

 You really get only 4 choices.  

1.  Accept your are an Alcoholic, commit to changing your life, and have a spirtual awakening. (Best Choice).

2.  Go to an Jail / Prison for a period of time - to be determined by others. 

3.  Go to the hospital repeatedly until, Doctors can not help you. 

4.  Die , either a slow death over years of anguish and both physical & emotional pain, or a death by extreme circumstances.     

 Understanding: Why I want to do this?     
Alcoholics & Addicts can go on for weeks, months, and years without seeing the effects they are causing to people.  Parents, Friends, Spouses, Children, Co-Workers, & even YOU. Everybody you encounter is being affected by your addiction. You might not notice it, but they do, and they have been impacted.

Change your behavior, Change your life, & Change their lifes !    
When you look to the future with open and honest heart,  Will your life story be? (you) are a Great Student, Co-worker, Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, Friend, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, etc. People will Say "with love and admiration" :  I remember the time we did ____ together it was awesome… (you) are just the best ____
Or will people answer: “We distanced our self from (your name) years ago “ I think (your name) is still … Addicted, Homeless, Divorced, Prison, Hospitalized, Injured, …... or Dead. 

  Stop dying in the bottle