SaddleBack Club

Alcoholics Anonymous


This is an example of a typcial Sponsee, Sponor engagement. 

How to Ask an AA Member to Sponsor you,  
My advice to you is to attend a number of meetings and just watch the members sharing. Focus on those who seem to be living good lives and are content in themselves, they speak of how they have recovered, Some offer at meetings to be a sponsor.

 If they have what you want ?   
hances are that they will make a good sponsor.  A good sponsor might have similiar life experiences, family situations, or back rounds. However some of the best sponsors might have little in common with you. This might provide a unique perspective,  Follow your instincts.

Always go for someone whose recovery inspires you.

Engaging a sponsor is an Invest in your success, working the 12 steps is a great opportunity for a new life.
You will have to commit time, a sincere desire to recover, and willingness to change, this process takes effort.

It can seem like the hardest thing in the world to ask an AA member to be your sponsor.  
Here is an option.   Walk over to soembody of interest after the meeting, or on break.

Hello my name is  _________  that was a great share,   (or)    I see you here often, what meetings do you attend ?  This can be a great ice breaker, no commitments yet, and typcially they will ask you a few questions, like,  are you new to the group?  How is it going?  I appreciate you being here today. or maybe after some conversation,  You Ask are you looking for a sponsee?   They might ask you if you need a sponsor?  Start the conversation, to see where it leads you.

Another great way to kick start a sponsorship engagement.  
Get to know people you sit near at meetings, typcially they can help with introductions, again, this helps break the ice.

Did I pick the wrong sponsor? 
 If after a bit of time you feel that you made the wrong choice then by all means find someone else. It's your life and it's your sobriety. Don't compromise it because you don't want to hurt our feelings. 

Can I fire my sponsor?  
Some people say  " I fired my sponor"  You can't fire a sponsor because they are volunteers,  you can not fire somebody you do not employ.  Be respectful, and say its not a fit,  it won't hurt our feelings.  if we are not a fit , thats ok.  We want you to find the right person to help you through the recovery process,

 What if they say no?
Is a common barrier to asking somebody. So what if they say no, it's no reflection on you. There could be a thousand reasons as to why they are not available.  Just look for somebody else.

Support could come from individuals other than your sponsor. If you couldn’t find a sponsor, the next ideal thing is to reach out to another A.A. member that you could get support from.

What a Sponsor is not ?   
Somebody who will  fix all your problems. They can guide you to possible solutions, but ultimately, you must be willing meet your challenges, make changes in your behavior, and commit to recovery. 

Sponsors are not Gurus, We don't have all the answers, we are just people,  who have worked,  and are working a 12 step program, and believe  we can offer some 12 Step direction to others.  We walked in the door just like you, and now can share experience on how to progress through the 12 steps.  

A sponsor is somebody who has working knowlege of the 12 steps.  

AA Official Sponsor Q&A