About

 I’ve been an Orange County resident for over 35 years, and in Southern California my entire life. I am, as my sponsor refers to me, a "stage 4 alcoholic." This final stage involves a complete loss of control over alcohol—where drinking becomes a necessity. The body starts to depend on alcohol to feel normal, leading to withdrawal symptoms and intense cravings when it's not consumed. In January 1999, my first wife left me to save herself from the chaos my alcoholism created.

 Trying to maintain control, I managed to hold things together. In June 1999, I met my current wife. As in any new relationship, I did my best to hide my alcoholism and behave, though it was clear I wasn’t fully in control. In April 2002, after an all-you-can-drink vacation in Mexico, I returned to the U.S. with pancreatitis. After spending a week in the hospital, and at the urging of my wife, doctor, and mother, I went to treatment in May 2002. After completing a 30-day program, I began my recovery, rebuilding my life, and attending AA at Saddleback every Monday through Friday 6am-7am for five years.

 With the clarity I gained from recovery, life improved. Despite being barely a high school graduate, I enrolled in Tech College with the support of my loving wife and 2 children. Three years later, I graduated with a 3.75 GPA  and certified with 2 Cisco Networking degrees.  I got a job and was moving forward in life. But then, in October 2008, I broke my leg and could not drive. I stopped going to AA meetings and, more importantly, stopped applying the lessons I had learned. For the next three years, I didn’t drink and didn’t feel the urge. Life was busy with two growing children and work, and things seemed fine—until one evening when I broke the cardinal AA rule: "It will be different this time." I drank 4-6 ounces of vodka. The next morning, I went straight to the liquor store. From summer 2010 to January 2013, I spiraled. I almost lost my marriage, faced emotional and physical issues, and hit rock bottom.

 By January 2013, my wonderful wife was at a breaking point. We had just moved into a new home when one day she found me passed out. After achieving some success in life—nice house, nice car, and some money, a wonderful wife and children, I was on the verge of losing it all.  My wife gave me an ultimatum: go to treatment or leave. I chose treatment. In January 2013, I entered a 30-day program in Chula Vista, CA, feeling remorse, fear, and regret. It was a humbling experience, surrounded by people I wouldn’t typically associate with—gang members, criminals, and the homeless. It was far from the South Orange County life I had known.

 I committed myself to change. I completed the 30-day program, and went back to Saddleback AA, knowing I wanted a better life. I engaged with other members, helped out, and became an active part of the community. It was a life-changing experience, and I highly recommend *Be part of* AA.

 Side Note:  Be Part of AA, or Being the edge of AA ?  Arriving late, leaving early, not sharing, not working steps, feeling like this is a waste of time, is not a good idea in my opinion. Your experience in AA will be very limited and likely unfulfilling. Being part of AA . Put effort in, to get quality of life out. The steps worked with a sponsor will take between 40-80 hours over the course of 4-9 months, or 2 hrs per week average. You drank 5-15 hours a day. You were always sick. You were not going anywhere in life, except to the liquor store. So 2 hours a week, seems like a pretty fair trade. If you just follow the sponsor given directions, it will be very easy.  

 In March 2018, after 6.5 years at our local meeting center, we were evicted. AA members are what I call *high impact* people, smoking, littering, noisy, loitering, not buying from the local stores, and overconsuming the parking lot, the building owner chose not to renew our lease. March 30, 2018 The doors were locked, and the future seemed uncertain. We all scattered to find other meetings or something. This was couple of years before COVID hit. Someone suggested holding Zoom meetings for our big ( 50-80 people ) 5.30pm Daily group. In April-May 2018, we started meeting online, even before online became popular. It was a challenge to keep the meetings organized, so I built a Wix website to house the leaders’ script and other basic materials we previously used in printed format for our onsite meetings. I branded it as "Orange County SVF ". We could post a link to the site in the Zoom chat before meetings, making it easier to assign roles and keep things running smoothly. About 2yrs later,  April 2020 I bought the domain Saddlebackclub.com.

 What started as a simple project, grew quickly. I started organizing resources, adding PDFs, and improving the user experience. Over time, the website expanded to over 65 pages, over 75 pdfs’, with everything I could find that made sense to the recovery process. AA content, 24hour Help Line Phone, recovery centers, 12 step worksheets, prayers, virtual chip kits, emotional sobriety, food-health services, motivational, audio, Al-Anon and more. My goal was to create a comprehensive, easy-to-navigate resource for anyone in AA or other programs in Orange County and worldwide to use. By December 2024, the website is receiving about 18,000 visits a year from across the country and around the world. I’m proud to help my local AA center, but more importantly, to provide information or some direction to somebody in need. If I’ve helped just one person, I feel I’ve fulfilled my purpose, and I am grateful for that.

   Today, I feel complete. Not everything is always good, I have hard times. However the promises have come true. My full grown children love me, my wife loves me, I believe inside my soul, people who I connect with also love me. This is my end goal, to be loved, appreciated and wanted. If you want what we have, you will do what we do. 

  Here is my mission statement. 

  Alcoholics & Addicts can go on for weeks, months, and years without seeing the effects they are causing to people.  Parents, Friends, Spouses, Children, Co-Workers, & even YOU. Everybody you encounter is being affected by your addiction. You might not notice it, but they do, and they have been impacted.              

  Change your behavior,  will Change your life,  that will Change the lives of those around you  !             

  When you look to the future with open and honest heart,  Will your life story be? (you) are a Great Student, Co-worker, Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, Friend, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, etc. People will Say "with love and admiration" :  I remember the time we did (_____) together it was awesome… (you) are just the best (_____) . It's been amazing to see how (you) changed their life.                     

  Or will people answer: “We distanced our self from (you) years ago “ I think (you) is still … Addicted, Homeless, Divorced, Prison, Hospitalized, Injured, …... or Dead.

 God bless us all on our journeys. I pray that you find hope, happiness, health, love, and abundance in all areas of your life.

  Thank you for reading. Mark P.  

My Suggestions

 Attend Meetings regularly 

 Work the Steps

 Pray,  or at least try to

 Stay busy, Stay employed

 Do more than is expected

 Try to stay grateful

 Start looking for the GOOD  >>   then remove one O

 Give time and money to AA  

 Be patient, it takes time

 Enjoy life, Give Love & Get Love